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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25672936">Moments of Gold, Flashes of Light</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cminerva/pseuds/cminerva'>cminerva</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Friendship, Romance, it's complicated - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:46:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25672936</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cminerva/pseuds/cminerva</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>May feels something familiar. Spoilers through the very beginning of 7x10.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Phil Coulson/Melinda May, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>145</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Moments of Gold, Flashes of Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Set at the very beginning of 7x10, after they’ve gotten to the lighthouse and before Coulson goes to Afterlife (and everything goes to hell). I woke up the morning after watching 7x10 with this plot bunny tentatively formed in my mind and immediately messaged hereforthephilindafics with this idea so I couldn’t back out of writing it!</p><p>And yes, the title comes from that maudlin epic, “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” by Celine Dion.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>May was walking through the lighthouse preparing for what was to come, thinking about what Jiaying being here would mean for Daisy, reflecting on the loss of Enoch, and wishing she could feel a damn thing about any of it. She had just passed the hall leading toward the bunks when Coulson emerged from a doorway in front of her. As their eyes met she was assailed by a sweet flood of emotion; she felt that warm affection she once knew so well, a tingle of excitement, the fierce desire to be closer. </p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>"May?" Coulson was immediately at her side, his face creased with emotion and his fingertips brushing her arm before he caught himself and pulled back.</p><p>May fought to breathe and stared at Coulson for a moment while her body was flooded with longing. He was watching her with obvious concern and that was what finally jolted her into thinking clearly. If she was feeling his emotions surely she would feel some concern mixed with...the rest of it. Suddenly it was imperative that she know who else was down on this level of the lighthouse with them because if they were alone then maybe, just maybe...</p><p>May turned on her heel and stalked back toward the bunks. Coulson followed, nearly colliding with her when she stopped abruptly. Together they stared at the two people in the adjoining hall.</p><p>Daisy and the newest member of their team, the man out of time, Daniel Sousa were standing at the end of the hall. They were just talking, not touching, though a single step from either of them would change that. Even from where they stood, May and Coulson could see that Daniel’s words were making Daisy laugh and he was watching her face as if her reactions were the only thing keeping him afloat.</p><p>Oh.</p><p>May pulled back out of sight and Coulson followed. He gave her a wry smile as they both leaned against the wall.</p><p>"You felt that, huh?"</p><p>May let her breath out in a long sigh and nodded.</p><p>"Back there, did you think that was me?"</p><p>May took a moment to just breathe. It was strange, talking to this version of Coulson-not-Coulson while feeling such a painfully sweet and familiar swirl of affection, tentative hope, and - she almost laughed at the thought - a hint of arousal.</p><p>"It felt like...a memory," she told him at last. "For a moment I thought, maybe it was something <em>I</em> was feeling."</p><p>“Maybe we should stick close to these two then, pretend I won you over,” Coulson joked then shrugged at her glare. “Sorry.”</p><p>May rolled her eyes but her mouth twitched into the ghost of a smile.</p><p>“All these years of people thinking I don’t feel anything and now they’re finally right,” she said.</p><p>“You’ve always felt as much as anyone,” Coulson objected. “And now, just because you don’t feel it doesn’t mean you don’t...”</p><p>He waved his hands around while he tried to find the right word and May watched him closely.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Coulson frowned then glanced toward the hall where he knew Daisy was still standing with Daniel.</p><p>“What do you think about when you think of Daisy?”</p><p>May considered this for a moment.</p><p>"I think about how far she’s come since we met her. How much she's learned and how hard she works to protect her team. I think about how proud I am. How much I love her."</p><p>Coulson nodded.</p><p>“Exactly, you still care. You still love. Even if you can’t feel it. Maybe that's what love is, thoughts."</p><p>May stared down at her boots as she turned that idea over in her mind.</p><p>"That's how it is for me,” Coulson continued. “It's all thoughts, programming in my case, but I don’t believe that makes it any less real."</p><p>May considered him for a moment.</p><p>"How I...think... about you is a bit more complicated."</p><p>Coulson nodded. </p><p>"I imagine it would be," he said, his voice soft.</p><p>May studied his face and for a moment she allowed the feelings to wash over her. She knew these emotions were coming from the younger couple in the adjoining hall but they brought back memories of the early days of loving Phil, <em>her</em> Phil. Then another familiar rush of feeling had her gasping for air and she instinctively looked at Coulson’s lips, the strong line of his jaw, before shaking her head firmly.</p><p>“We should move, <em>now</em>,” she told him, pushing away from the wall and heading away from the hallway where Daisy and Daniel were clearly about to do more than talk.</p><p>“Um, why?” Coulson asked, moving quickly to keep up.</p><p>“I know where these feelings are headed,” May told him shortly. “I don’t think Daisy would appreciate the audience.”</p><p>Coulson blanched.</p><p>“And I’m going to need you to go - somewhere, anywhere - away from me,” May instructed.</p><p>Coulson threw up his hands but smiled a little as he backed away.</p><p>May couldn’t help but smile a little in return. These horny kids, and this absurd new empathic ability of hers, were going to get her in trouble, she could just tell.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>After watching 7x04, where May couldn't feel the love that this Coulson obviously feels for her, I kept thinking about a line from Battlestar Galactica, "when you think you love somebody, you love them. That's what love is. Thoughts." (Bill Adama, 'The Farm') and I finally found a way to put that into fic form!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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